You are now blinking and breathing manually, you now realize your tongue has no comfortable spot inside your mouth, it just sits there awkwardly and moves when you think of the word "regularly". On top of that, you just lost the game.

Friday, 24 September 2010

Part 2. That Attitude.

Right, so you have hopefully found what category you old chaps fit into, or maybe not? Maybe you need to know how your attitude fits in with your look? Well then chaps, I better tell you how each of these fine stereotypes act!

The Brit.
              A fine fellow if you ever did see one, this spiffing old boy loves to play squash, drink ice tea and really show of his beaded shoes. They thoughts on violence is that is it completely unacceptable and not alot of jolly fun. Should you come across one, they will always great you with a nod and a raise of there bowler hat. 

The Real Brit.
              Truly, a outstanding member of society. They enjoy watching polo, drinking Sparkling water and laughing for absolutely, no reason. They believe violence is a good answer, however do not expect a fist fight, these chaps would never sink that low! A Shotgun to the face or a longsword through you is far more likely. If you were to ever have the privilege to come across these kind of spiffing men, be sure to nod to them showing you understand they are better than you, or expect a good whipping.

The Chav.
              The lower life form. They get there kicks from watching cock fights, rapping about how bad there life is and petty theft. Violence is a Chavs way of life, BUT... 9/10 Chavs will solve there arguments with obscene insults being thrown side to side, as both are to scared to actually physically get involved. when the 1/10 who will fight get involved, expect some skirmishing and possibly knife play. If you were to have the bad luck of meeting them in the street (Effectively there home) Just keep on walking, and if you have a gun, Shoot them on the spot. Show NO mercy.

Wednesday, 22 September 2010

Part 1. The look.

This is one of the main parts of looking like a true Brit. Contrary to popular belief and what you may see with your eyes, we do not dress like most countries. There are 3 types of British dress styles, pick one which suits your personality best.                                                                                                                                                  

 The Brit.
             The most common dress code of a current British outgoing person. They prefer the more casual suit and no tie combo, absolutely bizarre. Normally seen in just a bowler hat and occasionally if they are planning on being more uptown, they will have there top-hat on. Casual shoe wear (So heeled lace less shoes).                                                                                                                                                  
The Real Brit.
              What a regular Brit aspires to become later in life.. these jolly chaps proudly wear there black suit and tie, with waistcoat and white shirt on. Shoes are normally fancy and decorated (beaded normally) They wear the well known Top-hat, and if showing they are really British, the monocle will be popped on so they look like a right old chap.

The Chav.

              These dastardly foes run around in there... "Nike" ...tracksuits and ..."Nike"... trainers... the sight of these will cause a Brit to tut and a Real Brit to pull out the cane. If Nike is to expensive, they will resort to fake brands, that mimic there expensive brothers. Although they are seen as low by others due to there clothing, they see there selves as above everything else and feel they are the trend starters.

Tuesday, 21 September 2010


    This my
"How to be a Brit" Blog, after seeing many a Blog in my time, i decided it was time to make my own!
so.. I guess i better go for it, first though, some things to know about me
I'm Me, a 18 your old Englishman. Although well... i am half Scottish. I am studying to join the metropolitan police or even move to New Zealand. I find computers absolutely amazing machines, although at times right pains in the ass. Health is a good thing. Enough said really about that one... Oh.. I LOVE games, computer or the strange world known as real life. Now you know about me.. you will know how I will Blog.
  Much love.
And have a spiffing day.